Why Happiness is Messing You Up

Anthony Dufresne Millennial Blog, Millennial Issues Leave a Comment

Trying to be happy all the time, or constantly pursuing happiness is messing you up … Big Time!

There is WAY more I have to say about happiness than I can fit in a relatively succinct blog entry, but, for the sake of keeping it brief…here we go.

Conclusion: Life is NOT about being happy…thank you…goodnight!

Okay, that may be too brief.

Here’s Why Happiness Can Be A Bad Thing

Happiness is an emotion and, like all emotions is typically based on a point of reference or instance where you are sensing or “reacting” to something.  Unfortunately, the way the world around us (the Outside World) is set up, this emotional state has NO CHANCE of consistently sticking around….it’s not supposed to.

The natural law that surrounds us involves polarity, like right/wrong, left/right, up/down, hot/cold, AND happiness/sadness.  There’s NO way around it, you’re life WILL absolutely have aspects of all points within the range, from burning the roof of your mouth with something really hot to freezing your butt off walking to your car, to having extremely happy/blissful life moments to…yes…being sad because of a very impactful loss or disappointment.  I know I already said it, but there’s no way around it…IT IS WHAT IT IS.

So the polarity of the natural law of things isn’t the problem here.  The problem is we are constantly getting bombarded by the message that “happiness” is a goal to be strived for as an “end point”…like once you have achieved that goal, THAT’S IT…YOU ARE ETERNALLY HAPPY.  I keep thinking what a disservice it is that Jefferson used “and the pursuit of happiness”…not for the fact that he used that word, but for how we now define it.

Chasing the Happiness Cookie

Now the reasons advertisers and programs and books and TV shows push happiness is because they already know it is impossible to achieve as an end point, so you’ll get a taste of it, then lose it, then go back to them for more of what they have to offer…either the stuff that got you there in the first place OR, the more expensive, upgraded version, or the revised edition with “new” insights.

It takes everything in my being not to go ballistic when I come across this…well, anything for a buck, right?

The Happiness Solution

The key to gaining the escape velocity out of this whirlwind of crap is a perspective shift from “happiness” to “fulfillment”…that’s it.

I know some people may argue the point of semantics, but I find them universally different.  Fulfillment, unlike happiness, contains a level of knowing and understanding of the natural law of things AND accepts all aspects of life, good and bad, up and down.  It’s about having the perspective from flying 40,000 feet up in the air and looking down…understanding it’s about “appreciating” the things in life that bring you happiness and joy while, at the same time, accepting the ebb and flow of life, from the cool to the crap.

Fulfillment cradles your inner world and the outside world together, creating a space where you can have amazing perspective in any moment and also be able to accept the crap that comes along as an important and necessary component of your life.  I’m not the first one to say it, but I think this saying has some teeth to it…We would be unable to experience true happiness and joy without knowing what sadness is.

I wish you “constant fulfillment”

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