Warts and All

Anthony Dufresne Millennial Issues

I’ll go so far as to say that, given the choice, we would all love to live out the fantasy life we have created in our minds.

And, even though most of us have the presence of mind to understand that life is slightly more challenging than the fantasy life movie running in our heads, we still, on some level try to force the fantasy on our reality.

Life is messy, fraught with ups and downs and loses and perils along with all the good and beautiful it offers.  Remember, it’s suppose to have both sides….it’s called Natural Law…you have to have that polarity…it is what it is.

However, knowing that, we like to “hope” that a new relationship or a new job or a new school year that looks REALLY good on paper, will have little to no “crap”…we are funneling our expectations through that wishful fantasy of “perfect” that we all hold onto inside our inner reality.

Not saying that’s bad…in actuality, I like to reference that fantasy all the time…it’s called being an eternal optimist…

The problem comes when you put that new boyfriend or marriage or job or trip of a lifetime on a pedestal, where one stiff breeze is going to send it crashing to the ground…completely ruined.

It’s the classic case of setting something up for failure by not leaving any room for the warts…the imperfections…the inevitability of the polarity of life introducing a “not perfect” ingredient into the soup.

That crap HAS TO HAPPEN…it’s where the learning and expansion happen!!

Some people I have worked with over the years are so hooked onto the fantasy, that, after many attempts to live out the fantasy have gone awry, they have essentially “given up”…with the notion of “why try if I’m just going to fail?” or “why try if I know it’s not going to work out?” or “why try if they are just going to disappoint me or hurt me in the end?”

All valid questions…but questions of a five year old child holding onto a fantasy of a “perfect” life based on rules and outcomes that only exist in their own minds.

The fantasy will never work….what will work is the acknowledgment of who you are and what you want and what you have to contribute…in combination with…the sloppy, uncertain life outside of your own head…a life where we are trying to live out our own fantasy.

Accepting life and people and circumstances with “warts and all” takes a huge hurdle out of your way in terms of moving forward and expanding into a more fulfilled life…