The honest truth about “honesty” is that it’s not what you think.
Honesty comes from one’s internal interpretation of their own ever-fluid emotional state or behavior judgment…like, “to be honest with you, I think you’re a tool”…
…that is an emotional judgment based on your state of mind in that moment combined with whatever history you have with that person…OR…a history with someone(s) else that is triggered by the person you are talking to.
The chink in the armor with “honesty” is that…in another circumstances with, maybe, not the amount of stressors present in your life, your “to be honest with you” may not be that the guy is a tool, but more along the lines of “to be honest with you, I don’t get you”.
Problem with honesty is that people want and/or demand it from other people…and, rightfully so…I get it…
However, the person “asking” for the honesty has to understand it is completely and purely contextual…
Putting someone into a corner by asking them their “honest” opinion will result in “an” opinion given…although it may not be that person’s opinion in ten minutes or ten days or ten years.
Yet, we humans like to peg someone up on the wall based on their answer at that moment.
To be honest with you 🙂 most of the time when someone asks someone else that question, it comes down to some level of insecurity within themselves…where they are questioning their own internal voice in making some sort of judgment or choice.
Bottom line: When you ask for “honesty”…it should be taken as an honest assessment of THAT person’s perception on their life now, their life now in that moment with you and the subconscious judgment patterns they have accumulated over their lifetime.
So, in the end, HONESTLY, why not just trust your inner voice?